Stacy's Hope Chest
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"I Need to Get Something Off My Chest"

A collection of thoughts throughout my path of breast cancer and a double mastectomy with reconstruction. 
So What's This Website All About?
Not Just Another Cancer Story...


My goal is to bring awareness to the things that they don’t talk to you about when you go through such traumatic experiences like cancer. How to handle questions from people at work, how to handle it when people think because you didn’t need chemo that you don’t REALLY have cancer. My hope is that people read it and feel inspired to ask more questions and have the tough conversations before treatment. So many people read my story and commented to me how they never really looked at a situation like mine through such a different light. The conversations in my head were spewed out on my posts for all to read. Only the things which most people would think are private “deep shower thoughts” were what I chose to write about. The unspeakable truths that we are all just expected to go through in silence and appear to be brave. Many people left Facebook comments to me saying how I really write like I talk, or that it sounded like I was inside their heads. That was what I was trying to convey! I didn’t want a story that was just a step-by-step journey through cancer, but a true reveal of the inner voice.
**This was once set up as a blog, but has been updated. Please start at Chapter 1**


Enjoy!
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Stacy's Hope Chest

Chapter 17 - 1,440 MINUTES

12/7/2022

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"Be grateful for your life today! You woke up this morning with a breath, and someone went to bed last night and took their last."
This was one of the many inspiring lines from the cycling instructor that kept me pushing the pedals on our Peloton bike. That statement stood out and reminded me of my "Big Red Spot Day." On this date four years ago, I found a rather large red spot on my breast that prompted a whirlwind of life changes, emotions, and thought patterns that would change me forever. The irony was that the red spot I found was utterly unrelated to my diagnosis of DCIS (Stage 0 breast cancer), but it got me to the doctor. The day pops up like an unplanned meeting reminder, and I still can't decide if it feels like forever ago or just yesterday. I think I've decided that it feels present. I think about it in some way almost every day. I think about how my body hasn't been the same since. How I seem to meet people who've gone through the same as me or worse. I put up the volume on the TV every time I hear the word cancer in the news hoping for a cure or an encouraging statistic.
My sister was diagnosed with the same thing this past August and recently asked me if my breasts will ever start to feel "normal" or "my own." I thought hard about my answer and begrudgingly said, "no." It will always be a part of me. There is no letting it go in therapy or shedding it like skin. It is still there. But you know what? If it wasn't always there, it wouldn't be the constant reminder of how grateful I need to be. I got to wake up for another day. One of my favorite instructors, Alex Toussaint, who shared the fantastic notion that brought this post to life, also says, "This is 30 minutes out of your day! A day that you got to wake up again!"
I'm convinced now that having reminders throughout my day is okay. They are small bits and pieces of a long day with 1,440 minutes that, unless you meditate (got to get better at doing more of that) have to be occupied by something! So, take a few minutes out of 1,440 minutes to think about what you're grateful for...your breath, your life, your spouse or partner, your dog...whatever it is...dedicate time to it.

I'm off to meditate!

"I Need to Get Something Off My Chest"
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